I started drafting this
post a year back. My blog might sound a bit dramatic, but most of the times I
was told that life does go through phases of good and bad, and then good again.
It's a series of ups and downs. In a graph, life can at best be plotted as a
wave pattern, never as a straight line.
I remember one of my neighbor saying don't laugh so loud you will attract bad luck.
She actually believed it, and, if a few minutes later she caught any of us crying,
she would come the smug remark, didn't I tell you whenever you laugh out loud,
you will certainly be crying soon enough.
I am no more the person I used to be. Everything went as per plan. I have
got world’s best mother in law, a loving caring husband. a relaxed jo. But I
can’t find out the reason why for some time now I have been feeling more and
more negative about myself.
I have mood-swings very often and very strong emotions lately. I feel as if I
have become very sensitive as if I was never before. I easily get upset- I may
cry at the smallest things. I would take every word to heart. I feel pretty low
most of the time these days. More often I sleep more during the day than at
night. My family had been pointing me that I do not smile often. Over the past
few months I have been feeling extremely bad about myself without any reason. I
get a strong feeling that I am in the grip of forces beyond my control. I am
scared of tiny things. I find it difficult to keep a conversation going. I sort
of forget what the other person is saying and sometimes also my own thoughts. I
find it difficult to keep a conversation going. I want to be the same old me.
Friends had to stop me off laughing, I use to talk nonstop. I was never scared
of anything. I do not remember crying on some really big situations where I
must have cried. I was writing this on my 25th birthday when friends were
calling me with all the best wishes and I was waiting for that one call from
someone special.
Keep my expectations to the lowest.
I recall when I bought my phone — received a black box with the phone inside.
Wow, I thought, that was incredible. At least that’s what I thought for about
one month until I saw another new phone coming and my expectations killed the
happiness. Today after almost 2 years still using the same black phone but when
I broke the phone last month I wasn't at all excited to buy a new one. Because
I don't have expectations any more. I learned to be happy in present state
rather keeping my dreams so big (not in all context, I still would like to get
a promotion) ;).
I remember one of my neighbor saying don't laugh so loud you will attract bad luck. She actually believed it, and, if a few minutes later she caught any of us crying, she would come the smug remark, didn't I tell you whenever you laugh out loud, you will certainly be crying soon enough.
I am no more the person I used to be. Everything went as per plan. I have got world’s best mother in law, a loving caring husband. a relaxed jo. But I can’t find out the reason why for some time now I have been feeling more and more negative about myself.
I have mood-swings very often and very strong emotions lately. I feel as if I have become very sensitive as if I was never before. I easily get upset- I may cry at the smallest things. I would take every word to heart. I feel pretty low most of the time these days. More often I sleep more during the day than at night. My family had been pointing me that I do not smile often. Over the past few months I have been feeling extremely bad about myself without any reason. I get a strong feeling that I am in the grip of forces beyond my control. I am scared of tiny things. I find it difficult to keep a conversation going. I sort of forget what the other person is saying and sometimes also my own thoughts. I find it difficult to keep a conversation going. I want to be the same old me. Friends had to stop me off laughing, I use to talk nonstop. I was never scared of anything. I do not remember crying on some really big situations where I must have cried. I was writing this on my 25th birthday when friends were calling me with all the best wishes and I was waiting for that one call from someone special.
Keep my expectations to the lowest.
I recall when I bought my phone — received a black box with the phone inside. Wow, I thought, that was incredible. At least that’s what I thought for about one month until I saw another new phone coming and my expectations killed the happiness. Today after almost 2 years still using the same black phone but when I broke the phone last month I wasn't at all excited to buy a new one. Because I don't have expectations any more. I learned to be happy in present state rather keeping my dreams so big (not in all context, I still would like to get a promotion) ;).
