I bought myself a new polish

I bought myself a new polish… I've been a nail-biter my entire life - a bad one, but after a full month of not biting my nails, I'd say I'm successfully "cured". I would bite to the point of pain, and honestly never understood why I kept doing it. Having perfect nails was never a huge priority for me. Special thanks to my lovely husband, he helped me achieve which I was trying for years now. He kept reminding me, it’s a bad omen more like you are creating good things and then destroying them yourself... and then I decided why not try to stop biting? It wasn't a huge decision for me, but it just happened to fall at the right time. Once I got through a week, I was like, "I can do this!" So I did! It's not to say I haven't struggled with it, but it was relatively easy to stop. Now, I'm so in love with my new nails and how much they add to my outfits. Plus, they are pain-free now! I tried to think of when and why I'd bite my nails crazily. Usually it was in a stressed state when I was in over my head, or when I was scared or nervous like Ganguly during "cricket matches". I comprehended those conditions weren't going to go away, so I needed to try new things. The biggest thing that aided me was painting nails almost every day. I don't like the taste of nail-paint, and just having them painted all the time was a constant reminder to not bite. I really enjoyed the process of watching my nails grow, so that inspired me in itself! Keep them painted and recoat often. This was my number one help in cracking the pattern. Not only were they too pretty to bite, I hated the taste of polish. Plus, it was a constant reminder of my goal. Every week I was successful in not biting. One of my biggest issues was biting when I was nervous or deep thinking. When a situation arose, instead of biting, I would sit with my hands folded. It helped! I am really inspired by how pretty they look and most likely, I’ll keep going. I’ve done it :) Happy :))

I am no more the person I used to be

I started drafting this post a year back. My blog might sound a bit dramatic, but most of the times I was told that life does go through phases of good and bad, and then good again. It's a series of ups and downs. In a graph, life can at best be plotted as a wave pattern, never as a straight line.
I remember one of my neighbor saying don't laugh so loud you will attract bad luck. She actually believed it, and, if a few minutes later she caught any of us crying, she would come the smug remark, didn't I tell you whenever you laugh out loud, you will certainly be crying soon enough.
I am no more the person I used to be.  Everything went as per plan. I have got world’s best mother in law, a loving caring husband. a relaxed jo. But I can’t find out the reason why for some time now I have been feeling more and more negative about myself.
I have mood-swings very often and very strong emotions lately. I feel as if I have become very sensitive as if I was never before. I easily get upset- I may cry at the smallest things. I would take every word to heart. I feel pretty low most of the time these days. More often I sleep more during the day than at night. My family had been pointing me that I do not smile often. Over the past few months I have been feeling extremely bad about myself without any reason. I get a strong feeling that I am in the grip of forces beyond my control. I am scared of tiny things. I find it difficult to keep a conversation going. I sort of forget what the other person is saying and sometimes also my own thoughts. I find it difficult to keep a conversation going. I want to be the same old me. Friends had to stop me off laughing, I use to talk nonstop. I was never scared of anything. I do not remember crying on some really big situations where I must have cried. I was writing this on my 25th birthday when friends were calling me with all the best wishes and I was waiting for that one call from someone special.

It's the silly me side which made me write, I feel the mantra to live happy is not just living for yourself its living for the people around you for your family. I figured when I was happy I was actually living for others, I had my parents, family or friends in mind. But time changed and I had set up many expectations for myself, being stupid I was expecting surprises, special treatment for myself and when things were not coming as I wanted them to be it was getting taxing for me. And finally I released as I had expectations from others I was disappointed. Now I find my life a lot easier as I

Keep my expectations to the lowest.

I recall when I bought my phone — received a black box with the phone inside. Wow, I thought, that was incredible. At least that’s what I thought for about one month until I saw another new phone coming and my expectations killed the happiness. Today after almost 2 years still using the same black phone but when I broke the phone last month I wasn't at all excited to buy a new one. Because I don't have expectations any more. I learned to be happy in present state rather keeping my dreams so big (not in all context, I still would like to get a promotion) ;).

WTH!

Depressed mood: Yes
Inability to enjoy activities: yes
Problems concentrating: yes
Changes in eating habits or appetite: hell yes
Weight gain or weight loss: yes
Changes in sleeping habits: yes
Difficulty going to work or taking care of your daily responsibilities because of a lack of energy: no
Feelings of guilt and hopelessness; wondering if life is worth living (common): Yes
Slowed thoughts and speech: yes
Preoccupation with thoughts of death or suicide: No
Complaints that have no physical cause (somatic complaints) such as headache and stomachache: No

More than 7 yes = U R IN DIPRESSION

Whats going on?

Every single morning I remember having at least two dreams I had the night before. They often wake me up throughout the night because they're so weird.I want to say scary because some involve some scary stuff! But weird is way more accurate because when I wake up I don't feel scared and have to double-check the locks.I just feel strange and little disturbed.Becasue I am not able to remember what all is happened in the dreams its becoming more difficult to narrow down whats going on.I wake up evry single night at exactly the same time, just 2 min before my alarm.

But the dream I had couple of days back that was horrible.
I was coming out of office at night talking to my mom on the cell phone and the entire time a man, was standing behind me silently and listening to what I was telling her. And I didn't know it.
I hangoff the phone and starting walking back up a driveway road thing and police cars came..they arrested the man, but he just looked at me with a creepy grin..
I rememeber this has happened with me almost two years before when I had to leave my parents first time for the on job training and I was scared of things.

Seriously, there is no fun in having those dreams. I mean once in a while is fine but daily.Phew! I need to go on with papa's suggestion Meditation

I Need a Screwdriver!

I remember someone asked me I need to figureout the things from my mind and take actions.So I did that but again after one month I am here all alone with the same thought.Some days I feel like nothing can stop me, other days I feel hopeless.Most of the time I am somewhere in between positive and negative emotions going through the same routine, day after day, It is monotonous and depressing.I've changed my mind..So I've changed the envirnoment, spent time with animals and nature have taken some days off from office but nothing seems to be working...I hate to be like the lion with so many things to focus but I really don't know what all things keeps me happy all the times.It's not like I've lost something but I've also not gained anything so far...I wish I could stop the time and check what all things kept me happy so far?What are my Strengths.Oh god! I need a screwdriver.I want to get the battery out of my clock to stop it working.I Want time to stop.

Cheers!
Happy

Team Outing!

Kingdom of Dreams was the venue.

I'd say its a bollywood style theme park with blend of different states of India from Goa to Kashmir.Dramatic elements are added to the experience with props, music, thematic decor and special effects..wow was the most heard word in the team;) The place is full of magic and positive energy, real place represting our colours, art and to an extend music.Right next to the place we went they have Nautanki Mahal, was awesome but unfortunately we only had a outerlook of the place but that was an awesome experience.For me the place is a real fantacy!and everyone enjoyed the time spend there all were so happy:)

Pictures speaks more than words :)


`Happy

Thanks everyone :)

I was the adult and I was the child. I cried out and writhed in pain, but I stood up and wiped it away. I let you bring me down, but then I let it build me up.I had the best birthday gift I could ever imagine, just few days before the day.

they say I have beautiful eyes, Now I know that those eyes weren’t truthful.Everything I said to you, I meant them. I meant every compliment. I meant every word that I said. I promised U happiness. I promised that I'd never hurt U.But yet another day I was told.............
"Oye! What was I thinking to write?Phew!!

I want to do my best to do good with each day I have left, to appreciate life and to do nothing to destroy mine nor anyone elses, so boss! thanks for watever happend in last few days, may be thats for some good but thanks for letting me know what was there on your mind :) I am greatful to you.

Thanks to all my friends around the world(Yeah, I got few international calls as well ;) ) who wished me a Happy Birthday Thank You

A huge thank you to all who sent me birthday wishes via email, and Facebook :)

I am very fortunate to be surrounded by so many good people. I've received warm wishes from all over the world and it makes me feel very good to know I've had a positive impact on people's lives. Knowing that is perhaps the greatest gift anyone could ever receive! Thanks again to all of you for your birthday wishes!

`Happy